Michelle Smith shares her IVF journey and offers incredible advice and inspiration to others along the way.
Michelle is about to embark on a round of natural IVF. (In a natural IVF cycle, the one egg you release during your normal monthly cycle is collected and fertilised. No fertility drugs are used in this treatment). She will be sharing her journey with us through her videos and blogs. In addition to giving us an insight to how natural IVF works, she will be giving us healthy fertility recipes to give our bodies a real boost. Take a look at our nutrition page to see how to make her delicious antioxidant protein smoothie. We will hand you over to Michelle now to tell you a bit more about her fertility journey.
You know how most little girls dream about their wedding day? They dream of this white fancy dress, a big sparkly diamond ring on their finger, all the while standing next to prince charming. They dream of that magical kiss that seals their love as husband and wife. That wasn’t me. I dreamt of being a mommy. I dreamt of a big round belly and of course the sweet little baby that would arrive not long after. I dreamt of the snuggles and kisses my family and I would share. Sure, I wanted to get married and have a wonderful husband, but I didn’t stay up at night thinking about that. I often thought about how great of a mom I would be. That was then, lets fast forward to now. I am 34 years old, 3.5 years in to “trying to conceive” and still no baby, no snuggles, no round belly and haven’t stopped dreaming of being a mommy.
I was fortunate enough however to find my prince charming and boy did we have the dream wedding!
White fancy dress? Check.
Big sparkly diamond? Check.
Magical kiss making us official? Check.
Our wedding was even aired on a TV show you may have seen, called, “My Fair Wedding with David Tutera” but what you haven’t seen is my biggest dream come true.
About a year ago I had an exploratory surgery to see what was going on down there. My husband was the first person I asked for as soon as I came out of the surgery and off the anesthesia, and unfortunately for him…. he had to give me the bad news. The doctors discovered that not only did I have scar tissue blocking my fallopian tubes, but I also had bi-lateral hydro salpinx. The doctor told me that, “I will never have kids naturally.” Then my doctor went on to talk about IVF but I instantly muted him with my mind, balled my eyes out and hugged my husband’s neck and he cried right along with me in my hospital bed.
Dreams shattered? Check.
How could this be? Why me? Here I am, a healthy (well, everything but my fallopian tubes at least) woman in a super loving marriage with a career, a home and the finances and experience to care for a baby. My career is actually worth mentioning here. I am a certified postpartum doula and newborn care specialist. I also run a business where I help people become healthier in their bodies and teach them how to work from home doing the same for others. The point here is that it just isn’t fair! Infertility doesn’t care who you are, or how bad you want a baby.
Lets go back to the bad news for a moment. “You will never have kids naturally.” Soon after going home to recover from surgery, I gave myself permission to have a pity party. I was (unfairly) mad at everyone who had kids, or was pregnant. I avoided baby showers like the plague. I lied to my friends about why I couldn’t come over and hang out with them and their children because let’s be honest, I wasn’t fun to be around! At times, I DIDN’T even want to be around! Eventually, my pity party ended and I was determined to prove the doctor wrong. I went from staying up at night thinking about how bad I want a baby, to staying up all night researching how to get this baby here. I found vlogging about it on my youtube channel helped me cope because I could learn and connect with others whom were in the same boat as myself. I did tons and tons of natural methods to unblock my tubes and of course that meant spending tons and tons of money hoping each thing was the magic pill I needed. I did over 30 different therapies, treatments, doctors’ visits etc. I managed to make progress, only not enough to get pregnant. The scar tissue seemed to go away, but not the bilateral hydro salpinges. So again, late nights and researching ensued. I had an ‘ah ha’ moment when I discovered something called, “Natural IVF!”
What? This is a thing? How come no one ever talks about this? Why is this a secret?
My husband and I went to a natural IVF seminar with Dr Yelian at Life IVF Center in Irvine, CA and learned all we needed to know that day. We both left there feeling a sense of hope, we found our answer!
So that is the next step in our journey! Our first consultation will be in May, and if all goes as planned… I will be knocked up by summer. In the meantime, I am getting my body ready to be the best first home I can provide him or her…or them, gosh I’ll take anything at this point! I will be blogging regularly and vlogging with updates on my YouTube channel, so be sure to subscribe if you would like to see the behind the scenes action of what Natural IVF is like. I will also be sharing healthy recipes (fertility smoothies are one of my faves) so we can all be in this together!
To anyone reading this that can relate, don’t give up. It sucks, yes. It’s hard as heck, yes.
Will it be worth it? Also yes.
I have this strong feeling that my baby is coming, and I hang on to that belief and that hope.
Fingers crossed? Check.
by Michelle Smith