‘Not Pregnant’, a book and companion for the emotional journey of infertility

After four miscarriages and years of infertility, Cathie Quillet felt stuck and alone in her negative emotions.

In ‘Not Pregnant’, Cathie offers a place for women who are experiencing infertility to come together, validate their emotions, and let go of their pain.

Here she talks to IVFbabble about the motivation behind her book ‘Not Pregnant’.

“I have come to find that my story is similar to so many; however, in the midst of the emotional chaos, I felt like I stood amongst the wind and the waves all alone. As the storms of loneliness, feelings of loss and the ultimate questioning of my femininity swirled in my heart, I wondered if I had any strength left.

Infertility had woven itself into my story.

After several years of infertility, surgeries, diagnoses and four miscarriages I wondered if I had anything left to proceed. I was wondering where I lost myself along the way.

I stumbled into my local bookstore, hoping that a book would be the friend that I had been hoping for, to tell me that I’m okay….to tell me that they understood that the infertile struggle was often unbearable and to give me a shoulder to cry on. I wanted to know that someone else felt that sex inside of infertility felt like a business appointment. I wanted someone to tell me that other people’s baby showers were painful and that I didn’t have to go if I needed that boundary for myself.

I stood there perplexed that I couldn’t find that book. So, I wrote it. 

“Not Pregnant: A Companion for the Emotional Journey of Infertility” is a big giant hug from me to you. Well, from my OBGYN and I to you. We compiled a list of things that infertile women felt and spoke to them.

We also interviewed several dozen men and women and used their stories, because you don’t just have to relate to ours. Dr. Sutherland (my OBGYN extraordinaire) also speaks about the medical confusion that accompanies infertility.  This motivational and comforting book addresses:

  • Infertility’s effects on sex and marriage,
  • Handling the public’s general ignorance about infertility,
  • Miscarriages,
  • The plethora of emotions experienced,
  • Hormonal changes with fertility medications, and
  • How to move on with your life.

‘Not pregnant’ is written as if you are in our living room, chatting like girlfriends, sharing the journey.

Our hope is that you finish the book feeling permission to be wherever you are and validated in your own experience.

I hope that you find it to be an empathetic companion to your story!

‘Not pregnant’ is available in paperback and kindle formats on Amazon.

You can also find me on Facebook and Instagram at @notpregnantbook and on this website

Cathie Quillet, LMFT


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