When my infertility journey began, I ran to anyone and everyone that I thought could help or relate. I joined any support group that would welcome me in.
This led me to being in about 10 Facebook groups all geared towards fertility. For a long time these groups helped me. They can be a safe place to share your deepest sorrows and your happiest highs.
Recently though, I’ve noticed that being in these groups isn’t making me feel so good anymore, which surprised me because I was a frequent flyer to them for so long. I get notified about every 5 minutes that someone has posted in one of these many groups that pop up on my phone keeping me updated on everyone’s journey. I have my phone with me everywhere so I am always connected, always as in even when I am taking a potty break or getting my teeth cleaned.
I realized that when I see someone posting a very excited positive pregnancy test result I would feel two opposing emotions at the same time. I would feel super happy for the woman who finally got her miracle, and then I would feel super sad that I haven’t gotten mine yet. Happy for her, sad for me.
When I would see someone post a negative pregnancy test result, I would feel so sad for her and sad that I relate to her pain. I have seen my fair share of negative test results too.
I started to ask myself if these groups are still good for me and the answer wasn’t just a simple yes or no.
Yes I appreciate the support system I get from a sisterhood at my fingertips. No I don’t enjoy the alerts I get all day long that end up making me feel sad either way. Then it occurred to me that I could stay in the groups, but disconnect too. I have grown to love some of these women so I want to have access to them to support them the way they support me but I also want a time out too. Did you know you can change your notifications on the groups you are in? You can!
That led me to the next thought, which is that I can do this in all aspects of my life too!
When something doesn’t feel good, I can simply turn off my connection to it, him, her, them, whatever. I can turn on the mute button so to speak.
Your space is sacred. This applies to your social media space, your personal space, you get the drift right? Let me say this again. Your space is sacred. It’s ok to disconnect if that is what you need to do. As your fertility journey continues on, you will need different things at different times. Don’t fight it, go with it. Unplug and disconnect with the world so you can plug in and reconnect with you.
When you want to be plugged in, you can connect with me on social! Ill see you there, when I want to be there, haha!
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